Why Ask Why?
(from Uncle John’s Great Big Bathroom Reader with a bunch of extras I've heard that I added at the end)
Sometimes, answers are irrelevant--it’s the question that counts.  These cosmic queries are from the Internet.
Why do psychics have to ask your name?
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
Did ancient doctors refer to IVs as “fours”?
Why are they called apartments if they’re all stuck together?
If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four tellers?
Is Dan Quayle’s name spelled with an “e” at the end?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn’t everyone just move 10 miles away?
Why can’t I set my laser printer to “stun”?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
Why do they called them “hemorrhoids” instead of “asteroids”?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
If you write a book about failure and it doesn’t sell, is it a success?
Would a fly without wings be called a "walk"?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
If the funeral procession is at night, do people drive with their lights off?
Why do we drive in parkways and park in driveways?
Why doesn't the word "onomatopoeia" saound like it's meaning?
Why are there flotation devices inder plane seats instead of parachutes?
If you can't drink and drive, why to you need a driver's license the buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Why isn't phoenetic spelled the way it sounds?
If you are arresting a mime, do you tell him he has the right to remain silent? Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot one?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does a snow plow driver get to work in the morning?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed really hard, would milk come out it's nose?
If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how to they make it stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it frm a height, what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn the headlights on?
Most packages say, "Open Here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open Somewhere Else"?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwords?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but went you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
You know that little indestructible blck box that is used in planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you're looking for an address, you turn the volume down on the radio?
If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says, "Objects in mirror are closer than they appear,"
how can that be possible?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell "mnemonic"?
If someone invented instead water, what would they mix it with?
Why is it called a "TV set" when you only get one?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
If pro is the oppisite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
Why is it when you sit up or down, the result is always the same?
Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?
Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
How can someone "draw a blank"?
Shouldn't the be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?
Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
What is another word for "thesaurus"?
When they ship Strofoam, what do they pack it in?
Why do tugboats push their barges?
Why do we sing, "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
Why are they called "stands" when they're made for sitting?
Why is the only one Monopolies Commission?
Does a fish get cramps after eating?
Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?